Why do words still hurt?

After we send home a group on Saturdays, we grab our footnote bags where the students have sometimes sent us notes throughout the week. We read our notes, sharing some out loud to encourage one another and then we pray as a team for the group that just left. This morning I grabbed my bag and noticed a bunch of different scribbles on the outside of the bag surrounding various parts of my previous decoration. As I looked closer, I noticed the scribbles were covering up words of obscenity and overall not kind things. Ouch. Why do these words still hurt when they are high school students who I will most likely never see again? Why does it hurt when I know I find my true identity and worth in Christ and not in man? Maybe it is because it does still make me question my worth or for sure my actual impact here. In my head, I know the Lord has me here and is using me, and I also know that the student who wrote it is most likely really struggling with their own worth and acceptance and this act was out of that loneliness and confusion. All of these things my head understands, but my heart is having more trouble. I poured my love into those students, and it is returned with obscenity. Maybe I am getting a glimpse of what Christ felt at the cross. Please be praying for me that Christ would shine His love through me, and that come tomorrow I will be able to shine and pour love out once again to the 80 students coming. My spirit is so willing, but my flesh really just wants to cower and hide.