Saturday, July 24, 2010
Isolation
It is about that time again. I love doing things where I do not know anyone else prior to a trip, event, etc. Part of the reason for this is because I love meeting new people and that awkward first meeting (that is why new students each week is perfect for me). This can be a really good thing, but I also have really negative reasons for my desire to go into something unknown. I have a fear of rejection that consists of assuming that people will reject me once they truly know me and begin to see my flaws. The Lord has been working hard on my heart over the last year and I know He does not want me to continue to flee. Still I am beginning to feel the temptation to flee from my staff who is beginning to get to know me in a way where my flaws are on my sleeves, and they have the choice then to accept or to reject. The easy fix, in my mind, is to isolate myself and know I can flee from the situation in 2 weeks. I know that is not what the Lord wants, though, so please be praying for a strong finish in this race with the people the Lord has placed me to work alongside.
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Hi Honey,
ReplyDeletePastor Doyle preached on fear this weekend. It fits so well with what you are posting here. Fear is all in our mind and the Lord says 140 times in His Word "Fear Not!" His sermon was wonderful. He stated - first, admit that you have the fear (check) - recognize that the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion to discourage you (but the roaring lion is the old lion that has no teeth.) - the enemy is just using lies to stop you from accomplishing what God has planned for you. Don't fall for it. Face it and step out in faith. An old Scottish Proverb says "When fear knocks and faith answers, no one is there!"
Enjoy and embrace the last two weeks with the people that God has put in communion with you! They are blessed by it as are you!
I love you so much and am counting the days until we hug again!