Confidence in Christ

It is interesting that the one of the best things I can do, specifically the girls, is just model my confidence I have in Christ. I get really tempted some weeks to feel bad when some of the students do not like me, but I realize feeding into that temptation would not help them because we all, especially in high school, struggle with finding our confidence in other people. I have been striving to find my sole confidence in Christ and then show that confidence as a model for these girls desperately seeking acceptance from areas that are fleeting. So confidence and knowing my worth because of my Father has been so key.

3 Hours Later...

Last week, some of us on the team went to a true Southern Baptist Church, Grace Temple. We were literally the only Caucasian people in the medium to smaller sized church. The service went from 10:15am till about 1pm and people continued to trickle in throughout the entire service. They started the service with about four people standing in the front with cordless mikes. The woman on the far left was the lead singer while the others sang backup. These three or four songs at the beginning were more meant to sing with the backup singers as the lead sounded great but sang as the Spirit lead and her heart desired. After these songs, the Pastor got up to do the welcome, having the newbies stand up and introduce themselves, and then announcements. To my surprise, instead of moving on with the message, we went back into worship songs. This time the songs were a little easier to sing along with and everybody was swayin and clappin. After another half an hour or so, teh message started. He was preaching on if you are going to be a Christian, you need to live like a Christian, different from the world and let your actions and mouth reflect your relationship with Christ. He also really pushed the fact that as a church they need leaders to really step up if they want to take the promises that God has given them and the new location that they are wanting to move into shortly. The great thing about the hour long message was that whenever Pastor Francis got really passionate with what he was saying, he would begin to dance a little bit up there and the keys would chime in with him (if he was really going the drums would come in a little bit too!). This of course encouraged the mmmhmmm's and the Amens, which only encouraged his little jig more! After the message, he stated that he really wanted to get us out of there so that people would come back at 5 for a meeting. Before we were dismissed though, there is a time of open mike for any testimonies to be shared. A lady went up and shared how she was so blessed and proud of her church family in how they surrounded her recently when her mom died and she called the funeral a homecoming. The other woman that went up there gave a mini message about the bad effects of gossip on individuals and on the division of the church body. She then laid out all her dirty laundry before all the congregation about her previous drinking problems and how that had effected her parenting. She called herself a bad mother and shared more stuff about herself, past as well as present. She claimed that now you can talk about her and it doesn't matter cause she knows Christ has redeemed her. Talk about confidence in Christ!! I really enjoyed, it is just too bad that we just don't have three hours to give every week since we have groups coming in the afternoon. I like the church I am at anyway, but it was a neat experience.

Big Week

This was a very big week for us. There were about 85 people here, ten work site crews, feeding over 100, and all hands on deck! We were blessed with great leaders and wonderful students seeking after the Lord. The Lord had to minister to my heart from emotional things a lot this week, so many nights I spent on my knees or down on my face crying before the Lord. I have learned so much about forgiveness this week. The Lord has been so good. I also had the best Southern meal I have had during this summer. I had some homemade jambalaya, some pickled potatoes salad, cheesy chicken spaghetti, meatballs, and of course sweet tea! I was so satisfied!!

Starting to feel the Home Stretch

Although this summer has been incredible and we still have three more weeks left, I think the whole staff is starting to feel the longing for home once again. Marisa leaves us after this coming week to do a trip to Alaska, so we will all have to take on a little more, especially me, to pick up her usual wonderful responsibilities throughout the week. Please be praying for that. My Staff minus Azad:

Why do words still hurt?

After we send home a group on Saturdays, we grab our footnote bags where the students have sometimes sent us notes throughout the week. We read our notes, sharing some out loud to encourage one another and then we pray as a team for the group that just left. This morning I grabbed my bag and noticed a bunch of different scribbles on the outside of the bag surrounding various parts of my previous decoration. As I looked closer, I noticed the scribbles were covering up words of obscenity and overall not kind things. Ouch. Why do these words still hurt when they are high school students who I will most likely never see again? Why does it hurt when I know I find my true identity and worth in Christ and not in man? Maybe it is because it does still make me question my worth or for sure my actual impact here. In my head, I know the Lord has me here and is using me, and I also know that the student who wrote it is most likely really struggling with their own worth and acceptance and this act was out of that loneliness and confusion. All of these things my head understands, but my heart is having more trouble. I poured my love into those students, and it is returned with obscenity. Maybe I am getting a glimpse of what Christ felt at the cross. Please be praying for me that Christ would shine His love through me, and that come tomorrow I will be able to shine and pour love out once again to the 80 students coming. My spirit is so willing, but my flesh really just wants to cower and hide.

Material Things

Material thing are so fleeting, but what if it is all you have ever known? The newest bag will offer you extra glances while walking down the hall. The newest style shoes offer you a hundred compliments and jealous girls hanging around you. A shiny car offers you that extra attention from all the guys. And a million friends on Facebook will maybe get you voted prom queen. But eventually someone will get the newer bag and those glances will be directed else where, forgetting about your bag the day before. Someone else will come with a better pair of shoes leaving you with no compliments and the girls who were by your side yesterday are now by her side today. The shiny car will grow dim and the boys will have used you and left you. And a few years after high school all those facebook friends will have forgotten all about your crown and have moved on with their lives, most even forgetting your name. Where will you be left after all the things have faded and the people moved on? Jesus said it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom or heaven than a camel to enter through the eye or a needle. I don’t think Jesus said this because He hates money or wants to make life hard for us. I think He said it because He wants us to experience life to its fullest with actual joy, with friends who will love you to the core, with a husband who will love and serve you and not use you, and with acceptance from the One who will never forget your name or your crown! This week a lot of the students were very dependant on their material items, but I think the Lord has started moving in their hearts and is showing them what true joy looks like. I will continue praying for our group from Philly.

Missions

Missions can only really happen once you

have run out of your own ideas and understandings

have become so frustrated you are ready to give up

have become so tired you have no energy to try anymore

then the Lord can step in with His full understanding, complete patience, and unlimited strength and energy to actually change hearts and see mission through your hands that you are finally willing to surrender to be used fully by the His hands!